How Should a Christian Respond to a Crisis in Their Marriage?

By Lin Min Lin Min is a naturally sentimental person. Emotional dramas and romance novels saw her through her youth; the love stories within them deeply drew her in and stirring romantic tales often filled her mind—she couldn’t get them out of her head. From then on, the seeds of love were planted in naive Lin Min, and she hoped that after growing up she would find her own beautiful love story, “till death do us part.” When Lin Min was 17 or 18 years old, one of the topics most discussed by other girls her age was what sort of person they wanted to find to spend their lives with. She was no exception. Her head was always filled with dreams of love and having a family, hoping to find her own knight in shining armor, looking forward to bathing in the sunshine with him, walking through shady groves hand in hand, talking about anything and everything by the side of a river, and building their own happy family. She imagined that they’d always support and be there for each other through thick and thin. When Lin Min grew up and became old enough to get married, she did meet that knight in shining armor she had been hoping for; they walked into the marriage hall holding hands and made their vows to each other. She wanted to grow old with her husband. However, dreams are nothing but fantasies, not reality. She never imagined that her husband would betray her after just a few years of marriage, that he would forsake their wedding vows. Lin Min, filled with idyllic visions of what love is, just couldn’t accept the reality of his betrayal and left him without any hesitation. She was 30 years old. Looking back on this failure, Lin Min thought that she had been too young and inexperienced at the time, and she hadn’t been a good judge of people. She thought, “When I’m looking for another partner in the future I’ll find someone between the ages of 45 and 50. Someone a bit older will be more stable; they won’t be so capricious. Then the marriage will be a sure thing.” But things never go according to plan, and for various reasons she ended up marrying a man just one year older than her. “I’m going to make you the happiest bride on earth. I don’t have much money, but I’ll look after you forever and never let you get hurt again….” This simple promise didn’t sound as flowery and compelling as what’s written in the novels, but it was a salve for Lin Min’s wounded soul. With tears in her eyes she thought to herself, “I’ve got to have a good life with him and never let him go. We’ll grow old hand in hand.” So, Lin Min remarried and from then on, the only thing in her world was her husband and their vows. They lived in a tiny home under 40 square meters and just had a plate of pickled vegetables and two bowls of rice for every meal—their lives were hard. However, Lin Min felt really happy, really joyful. They had heart-to-hearts with each other and understood each other; they didn’t hide anything or lie about anything. They’d go shopping together to find daily necessities that fit their budget, they had lots of fun together in their little home, and deep in the night when all was quiet they’d talk about their shared dream of buying a house. They encouraged each other. One uncomplicated, tender day after another passed, and the year their daughter turned 12 they were finally able to buy a house that was 106 square meters, and their lives became even better. Her husband said to Lin Min, “Once we’ve got a bit more money we should go on a trip.” Lin Min was very pleased to hear this; beaming, her face overflowing with happiness, she nodded her head and said, “Yes! You’re interested in birds and I’m interested in dogs. We should each take our own pets on walks.” She looked forward to spending every day so happily in the future. Just as Lin Min was lost in her dream of “till death do us part” and basking in that happy family, the unimaginable happened again. In May 2015, Lin Min noticed that her husband started talking less, and that his words didn’t seem as genuine as they had before; he was oddly cold toward her. She felt really uneasy but forced herself not to imagine the worst. But after enduring a time of anxiety, she discovered that the thing she most feared had happened again—her husband was having an affair. She saw them walking out of a supermarket together and getting into a car. Her heart was shattered. In the days that followed Lin Min made all sorts of concessions and put everything into winning back her husband’s heart in order to save their family. When he went back home from time to time, Lin Min greeted him with a smile and reminded him of all the little things in their past, talked about the unforgettable wedding that they had planned, and about their plans to go traveling…. To communicate this better, she drew comics depicting the things they had done together as well as their current life and their future. Her drawings were full of her hope and desire to turn her husband’s heart around. She knew that her husband liked chess, so to appeal to one of his interests she bit the bullet and played chess with him. In spite of making every effort to win back her husband’s heart, he was completely unmoved and even went further. He started dressing more fashionably, wouldn’t return home for nights on end, and when he did occasionally stop by he was really cold with Lin Min. He even ended up bringing that woman back to their home. Lin Min collapsed psychologically—she completely broke down. She shouted herself hoarse at her husband: “How could you bring that woman into our home? You’re not allowed to bring her here anymore!” He pointed his finger at Lin Min and shouted at her, enraged, “If you keep acting like this you can’t blame me for what I’ll do!” and then slammed the door and left. He walked off with that woman without a backward glance. Seeing the two of them walk off side by side into the rainy night, Lin Min frantically ran out to the street, letting the rain fall all over her. In the dim street lighting she didn’t know which way to go and even thought of death. After two failed marriages, she had lost the courage to go on living. But then she thought of her daughter and her elderly parents. If she died, what would happen to them? If her daughter lost her father’s love and then lost her mother, how could she go on living? In her pain, Lin Min thought, “Living is so hard, but why is dying so hard?” Lin Min wandered through the rain in a trance, letting the rain and the tears wash her face. Her heart was bleeding, and scene after scene from the past kept floating up in her mind: the wedding, their vows, their laughter, their hopes and dreams, plus the cartoons she had drawn that were full of her dreams. She thought of all of these sweet, warm memories. She had never imagined that what she would get would be her husband’s deceit and heartless injury. From the time she was small, Lin Min had harbored dreams of growing old with someone, and as she grew up and went through all sorts of vicissitudes, as her youth went by, she had never given up that pursuit, but why hadn’t that “beautiful” dream been realized? She stopped walking, not knowing where to go. She was exhausted. She kept dragging her tired body along feeling like she was on her last legs, just barely getting through the days…. Just as Lin Min was mired in suffering and falling into despair, God’s warm and powerful words comforted her. This is what she read: “The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time” . God’s words shone on Lin Min’s heart like a ray of sunshine, bringing warmth to her chilled heart. She thought of how she had been taking on all that suffering and stress alone since her husband’s infidelity; she’d been walking around like a zombie at her very last gasp, just wanting her life to be over with as soon as possible. Only then did she understand that God had always been by her side waiting for her to come into God’s house. She wasn’t remotely alone and with nothing to lean on—God is her eternal support. She read God’s words with tears in her eyes, feeling like an orphan returning to her mother’s embrace. She couldn’t help but become speechless and start crying, expressing her gratitude to God without words. Lin Min started frequently attending gatherings after that, reading God’s words and singing hymns of praise to God with brothers and sisters. Her face was once again filled with smiles and her state of mind improved significantly. One day, Lin Min saw the words of God that said, “So what knowledge does corrupt people? It’s knowledge that has Satan’s viewpoints and thoughts mixed in with it, Satan seeks to imbue these viewpoints and thoughts into humanity through knowledge. For example, in an essay, there is nothing wrong with the written words, but the problem would be the viewpoints and intent of the author when he wrote the essay as well as the content of his thoughts. These are spiritual things and they are able to corrupt people. For example, if you were watching a television show, what sort of things in it could change your view? Would what the performers said, the words themselves, be able to corrupt people? (No.) What sort of things would corrupt people? It would be the core thoughts and content of the show, which would represent the director’s views, and the information carried in these views could sway people’s hearts and minds. Is that right?” Lin Min understood through what was revealed in God’s words that Satan uses novels and dramas to craft stories of love that don’t exist in real life in order to mislead people, and it inculcates people with ideas of love like “Till death do us part,” “Love is supreme,” and “The lovers finally get married.” People lack the truth as well as the ability to discern between positive and negative things. After reading novels and watching romantic dramas and accepting those ideas, people start to venerate romantic love and become steeped in an illusion of perfect love. They aspire to having intense love affairs, even feeling that experiencing love that never fades even until death, that two people staying together until the very end is the best possible thing. A lot of people fall into the trap that Satan has set up for them this way, and they’re duped and controlled by the illusion of perfect love. But when people give it their all and still can’t get that love that’s spoken of, they live in more and more pain and helplessness, and lose all sense of meaning in their lives. Lin Min thought of how she had been drawn in by all the romantic love stories from the dramas and novels she had read growing up, how she had wholeheartedly hoped to experience true love and grow old with her partner. She was even willing to devote her entire life to pursuing that. The failure of her first marriage didn’t wake her up, so she continued to seek a love that wouldn’t fade for a lifetime. She put everything into it, but never imagined that ultimately all she’d get in return would be the same heartless betray and heart-wrenching pain as before. She still wouldn’t give up, though; she tried to win her husband’s heart back by making every concession as well as becoming more thoughtful and considerate of him, but he wasn’t remotely appreciative of that. When their marriage fell apart, Lin Min felt like she had lost everything and she had nothing to live for, so she wanted to put an end to her suffering through death. And now if it hadn’t been for what was revealed through God’s words, Lin Min absolutely wouldn’t have been able to see how her pain was caused by being controlled and harmed by mistaken satanic thinking. In the past, Lin Min thought of reading those novels and watching those romantic dramas as a hobby and a way to spice up a boring life; she never imagined that they were hiding Satan’s tricks to corrupt, deceive, and harm people. Satan fools and mortally wounds people by feeding them dreams that can never be realized so that they put everything into pursuing them, leaving them in unbearable pain. After undergoing such ups and downs in life, Lin Min experienced that there is no true love between human beings, but just fleshly relationships and making use of each other. When people are poor there may be some deeper understanding between them, but if they gain both fame and fortune people tend to do away with the old and seek out the new. They betray each other, and things like “vows,” “promises,” “undying love,” “everlasting and unchanging,” and “till death do us part” become deceitful lies. People do not possess the truth; they cannot see through Satan’s tricks but can only be deceived and corrupted by Satan’s erroneous thinking, and the more they pursue this kind of empty love, the more they live in suffering. Later, Lin Min read another passage of God’s words, “I am in the heavens, and I am amongst My creation. I am keeping watch; I am waiting; I am at your side…. His hands are warm and strong; His footsteps are light; His voice is soft and graceful; His form passes and turns, embracing all of mankind; His countenance is beautiful and gentle. He has never left, nor has He vanished. Day and night, He is mankind’s constant companion” Lin Min was deeply moved as she pondered God’s words. She thought back on her own experiences and felt that God had always been waiting by her side, with her through every stage in her life. When she was hurt and in despair, even wanting to end her very life, God comforted and guided her with His words, assuaging her pain and giving her hope to keep on living. When Lin Min was living in pain and couldn’t escape from the fog of her husband’s betrayal, God used His words to reveal Satan’s tactics and methods for corrupting human beings so that she could recognize the root of her suffering and see through Satan’s tricks. Then she was able to see the fallacy of the concepts of “Till death do us part” and “Love is supreme.” At this point, Lin Min really understood that only God is love, God is most responsible for our lives, and that there is no love between human beings, that there are no true feelings. If we cannot come before God, read His words and understand the truth, we’ll only be deceived and harmed by Satan’s erroneous thinking; we’ll never see through its tricks, but will just flounder in a sea of suffering, always living within pain. Lin Min could feel God’s true love and salvation for her, and she couldn’t stop herself from offering up a prayer of gratitude to Him: “Oh God, I want to part with my past life of depravity and delusions and from now on seek the truth, living out a life of meaning. Thanks be to God! Amen!”

Many people pursue a romantic marriage, and the protagonist of this article Gao Hui is no exception. On the path of pursuing romance, she used to be dissatisfied with her husband because he was not romantic, and she even wanted to divorce him at one time. Under the guidance of the word of God, she said farewell to romantic love and found out that the happy marriage was right before her.

Dear brothers and sisters of Spiritual Q&A: I’m old enough now to look for a partner in life. My parents are anxious about my marriage prospects, and my relatives and friends also often ask me about this, which makes me feel I’m under much pressure. When it comes to looking for a spouse, my unbelieving friends all want to choose those who are “tall, rich and handsome” or “fair-skinned, rich and beautiful,” yet I have no idea what kind of people we Christians should choose. Looking forward to your reply. Sincerely yours, Xiangzhi Sister Xiangzhi: Marriage is an important matter in life, so it’s good that you are thinking about it carefully. As Christians, we should seek the truth to understand God’s will in this matter, and then act in accordance with the related principles. This way we will find a suitable spouse and thus gain God’s blessings. I’d like to share my own experience with you. In the past, I also wanted to find a husband who was handsome and had an excellent family background. Therefore, when I eventually met a young man who conformed to these standards, I started to date him. But things happened that I never thought would. He, an unbeliever, was unrestrained and very dissolute. In particular, he had unclear boundaries with other girls, so I didn’t feel the least bit secure being with him. Besides, when he needed my help in his career he always came over to flatter me, yet after he gained a firm foothold in our company he no longer paid attention to me. Especially when I was sad and disappointed and needed comfort, he not only didn’t care about me but complained that I was too troublesome. So while dating him, what I felt most was his indifference instead of care and consideration. Afterward, on his Qzone, I found out that he was already dating another girl, and after that he dumped me heartlessly. That was a very painful blow to me. At a gathering, I told one of the sisters about my experience. She this with me, “As Christians, regardless of what we deal with, including marriage, we should seek God’s will rather than rely on our own preferences. Thus, when we are choosing our own marriage partner, we should entrust this matter to God’s hands. We should ask God whether the one we want to choose is suitable for us, because only God looks within the depths of people’s hearts and sees right through people, and so the partner that He arranges for us will surely be the most suitable one. Another point we should consider is whether our partners are like-minded with us. If there is no common language on both sides, how can such people be happy together? Just as the Bible says, ‘Be you not unequally yoked together with unbelievers.’ (2 Corinthians 6:14) And a passage of sermons says, ‘It’s normal to get married after growing up, but one should choose a suitable partner. At the very least, it should be someone who is beneficial for someone’s faith and life—this is very important. People’s choices determine their path and their final destination. What is key is whether someone can select their own path based on God’s requirements.’ These words clearly show us the way of practice: While looking for our own partner, we shouldn’t solely stress looks or family circumstances. The most important thing is to choose someone who shares a common language with us, has good humanity and is beneficial for our faith. This way, both sides can understand, forbear and forgive each other, and it’s advantageous to our pursuit of truth and life growth. However, if a woman chooses a husband based on her own preferences, even if he is tall and handsome and his family is well off, he is also probably a gluttonous and lazy playboy with bad humanity who will neglect his family. She will have no common language with such a person, and living with him will bring nothing but harm and pain. What’s worse, if he prevents her from believing in God, it’ll even ruin her life and she’ll lose the chance to be saved.” Through the fellowshiping, I understood that as a Christian, when looking for a partner the most important thing I should look for was whether he had good humanity and was beneficial for my faith. I also needed to consider whether we were like-minded and shared the same goal in our pursuit. Before long, my aunt introduced to me a man who was a doctor, and said his family was well off and that his parents were both teachers. Then she showed me a photo, which revealed his handsome looks. At first glance, I knew he was my type. Soon after, Sister Zhang introduced to me her nephew Zhang Xun, with whom I was actually already acquainted. He was a repairman with average looks, and his parents were both ordinary workers—none of this could be compared with what the doctor had to offer. But Zhang Xun was a devout Christian. He truly believed in God and so we were like-minded. By contrast, the doctor was an unbeliever, and if I married him he might oppose my belief in God. Sharing no common language with each other might directly affect our feelings, to the point that we might part ways, just like my former boyfriend and I. However, if I were to only take my fleshly interests into consideration, I’d choose the doctor. And so I was at a loss how to choose. At that time, I could only pray to God. After praying, I saw the following passage of fellowshiping, “When looking for a partner, some people completely rely on their fleshly preferences rather than the truth. They only choose someone who conforms to their desires. Are such people obedient to God? No, because God requires us not to be unequally yoked to unbelievers. Could you choose a believer as your partner? When dating a believer, some people say, ‘This person does not have good looks or status, and so isn’t my ideal partner. I don’t want them. I’d rather choose a devil who has good looks and status but has no faith.’ If you were to do so, would you be obedient to God?” After reading this fellowshiping, I quieted my heart to seek God’s intentions. I thought: “There are two men for me to choose from. Simply judging by their outward appearances and family backgrounds, I definitely prefer the doctor. But that way is following the unbelievers’ way and is based on my fleshly preferences. In addition, he doesn’t believe in God, and this indeed is disadvantageous to my belief and pursuit of truth. As for Zhang Xun, although his family background is not so good, he believes in God, pursues the truth, and moreover he has good humanity and love for his family and the brothers and sisters. Also, he actively performs his duty at church. If I choose him, we could walk the same path and serve the Lord together in the future, and that is good. And my own family background isn’t that great. I was born into an ordinary family, my parents are both ordinary workers, and I don’t have a degree. All these features are far worse than those of the doctor. So, if I married him, our marriage would be not of equal rank. I would feel inferior and distressed, and he might even abandon me.” Thinking of all this, I told my thoughts to God and prayed for Him to make me willing to forsake my fleshly preferences and act in accordance with His requirements. After my prayer, I felt peaceful and steady. Afterward, I resolutely decided not to date the doctor and started to date Zhang Xun. In our interactions, I found that his view of things was completely different from that of unbelievers and he didn’t focus on pursuing life’s pleasures. In his opinion, pursuing those things was meaningless; he thought believers should pursue the truth and strive to understand God’s will and to please God. Every time we met, he would lead me to read God’s words and sing hymns in praise of God together. He especially emphasized that our feelings for each other should be established on the foundation of God’s words. We should love each other according to God’s words. As long as what one of us said was correct and accorded with the truth, the other should obey and accept it, thus the truth could be our master. Moreover, when I revealed arrogance and self-conceit, he would fellowship with me and ask me to emulate Christ’s humility; when I was passive and weak, he would use God’s words to comfort and encourage me. After interacting with him for a period time, I found that he was of great help to me. In the past, I didn’t pay attention to seeking God’s words. Yet, now when encountering problems, I would focus on seeking God’s will and thirst for God’s words, thus becoming more confident to pursue the truth. Gradually, we two became confidants. When things happened to us, we would seek the truth to resolve them. I was really able to feel the truth that only by finding a partner according to God’s requirements could a believer gain true happiness. Subsequently, while visiting home one time my aunt said to me, “It’s lucky that you didn’t choose the doctor. He has been spoilt by his parents. Now, he spends all day drinking, whoring and gambling, and has even abandoned his job, which makes his parents very angry.” Hearing all this, I thanked God in my heart. In the matter of finding a partner, if I had given in to vanity instead of having acted in accordance with God’s requirements, I would be living in suffering now. After these experiences, I truly realized that when looking for a partner, we shouldn’t stress appearance or family background. The most important thing is to choose someone who shares a common language and the same goal of pursuit with us. Only in this way can our married life be happy. Sister Xiangzhi, all the above is my own experience and knowledge. I hope it’ll be beneficial to you. As long as we act in accordance with God’s demands, we’ll gain God’s protection and blessings. May God bless you! Sincerely yours, Pingfan of Spiritual Q&A

The author’s husband’s betrayal left her in deep pain, and she thus suffered from insomnia, feeling extremely miserable. But to have a whole home, she made all sorts of concessions for more than a decade. Yet her husband still ended up having a child with his mistress. So how can the author emerge from amidst such misery?

By Lele At the end of June 2017, after finishing the high school entrance examination, my daughter called to ask me about how to choose school. As soon as I heard that, I responded to her without hesitation, “I have already thought all through. The NO. 1 high school in our county is the first choice, the NO. 2 high school in our county the second and the vocational middle school the final.” “Mom, will you allow me to choose the town high school if I fail to attend the NO. 1 high school or the NO. 2 high school?” She hesitated before saying, “There are many students who have chosen to go there in our class ...” But before she finished her words, I said firmly: “No. If you don’t get into the NO. 1 high school or the NO. 2 high school, you should go to the vocational middle school.” After hanging up the phone, l thought: She is so young that she doesn’t see the big picture, so I should take the helm for her. According to her ordinary academic performance, she should be able to attend the NO. 1 high school if she does what she can do; In case that she doesn’t get the score as well as usual, she will attend the NO. 2 high school; if neither of them admits her, the vocational middle school is the worst case scenario. In this way, the matter of her choosing high school was decided according to my plan. Before long, the results of the high school entrance examination came out. My daughter’s scores were so low that she didn’t enter the NO. 1 or NO. 2 high school in our county. According to my plan, she could only go to the vocational middle school. After a few of days, her school informed that the choices on the application can be changed, so she consulted with me, “Mom, several classmates in our class have changed their choice and chosen to go to the town high school. Can I go there or not?” Once hearing that she wanted to go to town high school, I felt unhappy and said loudly, “Other people go to school from village to county, but you actually want to go to the village school. Is this consistent with common sense?” Seeing my unyielding attitude, she carefully talked this matter over with me, hoping that I would agree with her going to the town high school. However, I had made the decision already, so I didn’t agree. As her wish didn’t come true, she was unhappy all day so that the atmosphere of our family also got heavier. Later, when I asked her about her choosing school, she didn’t say a word. Sometimes she would be impatient with my question and say: “Haven’t you made all the arrangements?” In this way, the relationship between us became more and more distant. During that time, sometimes when we went out, we would walk one behind the other, giving each other the silent treatment. Seeing other mothers and daughters walking hand in hand, laughing and talking with each other, I felt very envious in my heart, thinking: Daughter should be closest to mother, but there is a gap between my daughter and me. When will we be so close like other mothers and daughters? At that moment, I couldn’t help thinking of the relationship between her and me in the past. She was lively and cheerful, loving chatting and laughing. I didn’t know when it started, but she didn’t like talk much, or want to communicate with me what she encountered, but instead she would communicate with her aunt or grandma. Thereupon, her aunt always blamed me for treating my daughter with great harshness. Whatever it was, such as buying clothes and writing materials, learning specialties and so on, it was decided by me and I never asked about what she liked. Once, she sobbed to her aunt: “Why does my mother not like me? She always scolds me, so that I feel depressed very much at home.” When I learned of it, I felt especially aggrieved in my heart: How can she say that I don’t like her? Every parent care for their children. I controlled her in everything for fear that she would make a mistake, which was for her sake. As for her choosing school, that I thought it over was for her own good, but why did she not understand my good intention? In helplessness, I prayed to God about the trouble I encountered. Afterward, I thought of the following words of God: “Many might well believe in God, and in appearance they may look very spiritual, but in regard to the views and attitudes of parents toward children and of children toward parents, they are clueless about how to put this aspect of the truth into practice, and about what principles should be applied in treating these matters and dealing with them. In a parent’s eyes, the parent is always a parent, and the child is always a child. Thus, the relationship between parent and child becomes very difficult to deal with. A lot of things really result from the parents refusing to budge from their status as parents. They always see themselves as the parent, the elder, and they think: Children must always listen to their parents, and this fact will never change—which leads to their children resisting them. Such viewpoints leave both sides miserable, wretched, and exhausted. Is this not a manifestation that one doesn’t understand the truth? … And many parents think they are always right. “As long as it’s for the child’s sake, what I’m doing is right.” They really have such thoughts and points of view. How could you not make mistakes? You too are a corrupted human being, how can you determine that you are without error? As long as you admit that you do not possess the truth, that you are a corrupted human being, then you have errors and you can make mistakes. You can make mistakes, yet at every turn how is it that you try to take charge of your children, and have them at every turn listen to you? Is this not an arrogant disposition? This is an arrogant disposition and a ferocious one at that.” From God’s words, I knew that the main reason for the disharmonious relationship between parents and daughters is that parents are always putting on airs, standing in high position controlling their children and forcing children to do things according to their own will, so that children misunderstand parents. Thus, the relation between parents and children become more and more distant. Comparing myself to the word of God, I recalled carefully that when getting along with my daughter, I always put on the airs of a mother. No matter what she did, I always controlled her, asking her to do things according to my own intention. Just as this time she had some thoughts about my arrangement in course of choosing high school. With that, I blamed her in a harsh tone of voice, since I thought that my arrangement was suitable. In fact, she certainly had her idea about why she wanted to go to the town high school. But I never had a heart-to-heart talk with her, not listening to her idea or considering her feeling, but forcing her to do things according to my own meaning. From these, I saw that I was so arrogant! I always controlled her like so, which brought her great distress. Not only did she say less and less, but she also felt depressed, which lead to a misunderstanding between us. Only then did I realize that the relationship between my daughter and me coming to this point was due to myself. Later on, I saw God’s words saying, “In such cases, then, how is the truth to be practiced? This is actually pretty simple. You must be an ordinary person, and not controlled by status. Treat your children, treat those in your own family the same as you would ordinary brothers or sisters. Although you have a responsibility, and a relationship of the flesh, nevertheless the position and perspective you should have is the same as with friends or ordinary brothers and sisters. You must not, standing in the position of a parent, hold them back, or fetter them, or try and control everything about them. You should treat them as an equal. You should allow them to make mistakes, to say the wrong things, to do childish and immature things, do stupid things. No matter what happens, sit down and calmly talk with them and seek the truth. In this way, you will be talking to them with the right attitude, and the problem will be solved. So, what is being let go here? (Position and pride.) It is the letting go of the position and status of a parent, the airs of a parent....” From God’s words, I found a path. Though I had responsibility for my daughter, this responsibility didn’t mean restraining, controlling her or forcing her to agree with me in everything. Because everyone has his own thought and choice, I shouldn’t forcibly ask her to carry out according to my opinion, but should let go my status, telling my view to her, discussing, and seeking with her in an equal position. And meanwhile, I should also ask her opinion, listen to her true thought, and give her the right to choose for herself. Only in this way will we understand each other and get along with each other very well. Over the next few days, I always wanted to find time to have a heart-to-heart talk with her, but every time the thing was on the tips of my tongue, yet I couldn’t open my mouth. My heart was doing somersaults: If I apologize to her, what will she think of me? Will she still listen to my words? But then I reconsidered, thinking that if I went on getting along with her like so, not being willing to take the initiative to let go my position to apologize to her, then there wouldn’t be a fine relation between us forever, and we would still live in pain. Thereupon, I prayed to God to give me courage, to help me let go the airs of a mother and apologize to her. One day, I said to her, “Let’s go for a walk.” Linking my arm in hers, I summoned up my courage to say to her, “My daughter! Some time ago, in the matter of your choosing school, I made decisions on my own without considering your opinion. It was all my fault. I apologize truly. In the past, I always put on airs of a mother to control you and force you to listen to me in everything. If you did not take my advice, I would reprove you loudly, leaving you depressed. Through reading God’s words, I understand that I should get along with you in an equal position but not in a mother’s high position. I am willing to put God’s word into practice and change myself, no more making any decision on my own. From now on, you can regard me as your close friend, speaking your mind to me, and I will hear you patiently ...” As I said it, she shed tears and said, “Mom, your words move me very much. I never thought that you would speak these words with me ...” Hearing her words, I also felt very moved. I couldn’t help embracing her tightly and silently gave thanks to God. When we returned home, I wanted to discuss with my husband the matter of my daughter’s choosing school. Unexpectedly, he said, “What you say in our family goes. Is it necessary to discuss this with me?” Hearing his words, I felt so ashamed that my face was burning. I hurriedly said to him: “It is I who have done wrong. I apologize. Both our daughter and you are part of our family, so I won’t have the final say in the future. I should listen to your opinions more.” Hearing me say so, he at once walked out of the bedroom, sitting together with us two. I first asked him to speak his opinion, and he said that he respected our daughter’s wish. And then I warmly said to her: “Both your father and I respect your choice; but before you make a decision, I want to help you objectively analyze the differences between the town high school and the vocational middle school. Then, you can make a choice according to real condition. Okay?” She nodded lightly. Afterward, I said to her: “The knowledge of high school is certainly much more difficult than that of middle school. If you like studying and feel that you have latent force to develop in your studies, then you can choose to go to high school. In comparison, the knowledge of vocational middle school is relatively simpler than that of high school, and you can also study a skill here.” My husband chimed in: “Your mother’s analysis is correct. There are distinct differences between the curriculum of middle school and high school. You should choose the school based on your own real condition.” After she thought deeply for a while, she said to us: “Dad, Mom, I had tried very hard this year when I was in ninth grade, but I did so poorly in the examination. Hearing your words, I think I’d better go to the vocational middle school. In this way, not only will I have less pressure on studying, but I will also learn the professional skills required for kindergarten teacher, such as reciting and hosting. They are my specialties, so I will try my best to study well.” In this way, she finally chose to go to the vocational middle school. After experiencing this, the relationship between my daughter and me became more harmonious. Later on, she started school. Every weekend when she came back, she would tell me some interesting things in her school and actively helped me cook meals and do the dishes. Seeing that she and I were so close, I thanked God from the depths of my heart. It was the guidance of God’s word that let me understand how to get along with my daughter. Therefore, our relationship became so harmonious. All glory be to God!

By Yuqing, Exasperated by Her Son’s Poor Grade “Good evening, parents. Thanks for your taking time out of your schedule to attend this parent teacher meeting. Now I’ll give you your child’s report card….” said the head teacher on the platform. After taking Xiaojie’s report card and seeing the number “79” written very clearly, Yuqing muttered, shaking her head: “That’s it, he is finished. He has good grades in math, but he only got 79 marks out of 100; what if he can’t get into high school? He’s greatly disappointed me.” At the thought of this, the anger uncontrollably raised its head inside of her. Upon arriving home, Yuqing headed straight for Xiaojie’s room and lectured him: “You did rather badly in the exam this time. Stop playing from now on, or else you’ll be unable to get into high school, let alone college.” When he heard this, Xiaojie lowered his head and didn’t say a word. Seeing that, Yuqing then said gently: “Son, you have to know only knowledge can change your fate. You see, since I failed to attend university, now I have to be a worker in a factory, doing hard and dirty work. That’s why I want you to study hard, get into a good college, and have a cushy and well-paid job in the future.” Hearing this, Xiaojie nodded reluctantly. Late that night, lying on the bed, Yuqing thought of how, to make sure her son could be of talents and gain high grades, she had signed him up for all kinds of interest classes and supplementary classes from kindergarten, how she had supervised his study and given him some extra homework whenever she had time, and how she often kept an eye on him so that he could finish it before he went play. Nevertheless, Xiaojie’s grades still didn’t get any better—he only received 70 to 80 marks every time. Moreover, sometimes he didn’t want to study and even talked back to her. Thinking of these things, Yuqing felt exasperated at her son’s failure to be excellent. In this way, she took a long time to fall asleep in a bad mood. Forcing Her Son to Study Broke Their Relationship One afternoon, when Xiaojie wanted to play for a while after finishing his homework and reciting lessons, Yuqing asked him to do English dictations before he could play, just as she used to do. However, Xiaojie wasn’t willing to do it. Facing this, Yuqing again used the bright future to try to persuade him. But Xiaojie said angrily: “You’ve agreed to let me play after finishing my homework, but now you are asking me to do dictations. If I can’t write them correctly, you’ll let me repeat. You won’t allow me to play until I can recite them. To put it plainly, you simply don’t want me to play! The only thing you ever want me to do is study hard, get into high school and then college!” Yuqing said: “Am I not doing this for your own good?” “For my own good? All you care about is letting me take extra classes and recite lessons every week, so I cannot play basketball every weekend, while others can. You insist on demanding me to study, yet you still say you are acting in my best interests. Is this meaning me well? I don’t want to keep learning; even if I’ll achieve nothing and do manual labor in the future, I shall be willing to face it!” said Xiaojie resentfully. At these words, Yuqing instantly felt a rush of rage and said: “You’re without ambition. If you want to do manual labor, then do it. I can’t control you anymore!” Xiaojie then said indignantly: “Mind your own business! What will become of me is my own business.” When he finished, he slammed the door and entered his room. Xiaojie’s behavior made Yuqing feel put out. She said to herself: “Can’t you see that I’ve given so much for your own good? I grudge spending money on food or clothing so as to educate you. Why don’t you understand that? If you still can’t get better grades, how can you get into a good high school? …” Over the days that followed, Xiaojie didn’t talk with Yuqing, nor did he reply to her when she called him. This made Yuqing feel pained and helpless. Understanding the Truth Enabled Her to Know How to Educate Her Son In her pain and helplessness, Yuqing prayed to God: “O God, I don’t know how to educate my son properly. Please lead me. I wish to entrust this matter to You.” After the prayer, she read in the word of God: “As far as children go, all parents hope that their children will receive higher education and that they’ll someday get ahead, have a place in society as well as have both a stable income and influence—that way they can honor the family line. Everyone has this point of view. Is it the right viewpoint to hope that ‘the son becomes a dragon, the daughter becomes a phoenix’? Everyone wants their children to go to a prestigious university and then pursue advanced studies, thinking that after getting degrees they’ll stand out from the crowd. This is because in their hearts, everyone worships knowledge, believing that ‘The worth of other pursuits is small, the study of books excels them all.’ On top of that, competition in modern society is particularly fierce, and without a degree you’re not even guaranteed to be able to put food on the table. This is how everyone thinks about it. That is, what you learn and what kind of educational background you can achieve will decide your livelihood, your future. In other words, people intend to rely on this thing to survive throughout life, and they see it as especially important. That’s why everyone sees receiving a high-level education and getting into a top university as the number one most important thing for their children.” After reading God’s words, Yuqing suddenly saw the light. She realized: Controlled by notions such as “To be a scholar is to be at the top of society,” and “Knowledge can change your fate,” I believed that, after having good grades in school and a good diploma, one would certainly have good prospects in the future. That was why I signed Xiaojie up at a very young age to kinds of remedial classes and forced him to study. When he was sick of studying, I would use both carrot and stick to force him, which caused him to lose the happiness he should have as a child. Overloaded with pressure to study for many years, not only did he fail to achieve better scores, but he began to react against me, with the result that our relationship has turned to deadlock. This is all caused by me forcing him to study based on satanic notions and ideas but never standing in his shoes to understand how he feels. When Yuqing realized this, she felt very upset. At that time, Yuqing remembered God’s words: “From the moment you come crying into this world, you begin to fulfill your duty. Performing your role in God’s plan and in His ordination, you start your life’s journey. Whatever your background, and whatever the journey ahead of you, no one can escape the orchestrations and arrangements of the Heaven, and no one is in control of their own destiny, for only He who rules over all things is capable of such work.” From God’s words, she understood: When a person is born, whatever his life will be, whether he will live a life of poverty or wealth in the future, what job he will have, all these have been arranged by God long before and have nothing to do with whether he has a good diploma. However, since I was blind and ignorant not understanding God’s sovereignty, I, based on Satan’s thought and views, forced Xiaojie to study, in the vain hope of changing his destiny. I didn’t know that all such things as his getting into a university, the jobs he has and his future and destiny cannot be changed by whether he has a good diploma, but are all part of God’s arrangements. She then thought of how her aunt only with a primary school-level education has become a successful in business, now owning a car, home, and a business. Several of her neighbors, though poorly educated, have made a lot of money as labor contractors. There is also her boss who only possesses two years of elementary school education yet is running a big company. Whereas among those who graduate from college, even with a postgraduate diploma, some get a job through parents or relatives, some work in a company, factory or a store, some still stay at home, and so on. They don’t change their destiny because of having a high degree or a good diploma. All these facts allowed Yuqing to see that knowledge can in no way change man’s fate, and man’s fate is only controlled by God’s hands. She also realized that if she kept forcing Xiaojie to study, not only would it make herself miserable, but it would cause Xiaojie to continue suffering. At the thought of this, Yuqing was willing to submit Xiaojie’s fate to God. Afterward, Yuqing no longer tried to force Xiaojie to study like she had before and would give him some time to relax. But when she frequently saw Xiaojie playing, she once again became worried: “If Xiaojie carries on this way, it’s hard to say whether he can graduate, not to speak of getting into a good high school. If he doesn’t get a high degree, can he have a bright future?” When she had this thought, she realized that she was still influenced by the viewpoints of Satan. She thought of something written in Sermons and Fellowship on Entry Into Life: “How do you think parents are supposed to treat their children? All parents expect their children to be successful. If you have a child who is not somebody but nobody, what will you do? If you still want him to be successful, aren’t you tormenting yourself? … so we should respect the fact rather than impose anything on him. If he is nobody, but you force him to be somebody, can it become true? Your doing so is equal to harming and ruining him because it’s impossible for him to be somebody. Therefore, we should respect the fact and obey God’s orchestrations and arrangements. … Don’t have desires or demands. You should forsake the flesh and betray those satanic viewpoints, and you’ll then get the truth on this matter.” This fellowship served as a reminder to Yuqing. She realized that her son’s future and fate had been decided long ago by God, could not be changed by anyone, and had nothing to do with his level of education. If she still relied on the ideologies and views of Satan to educate her son, then he would end up with nothing but pain. As parents, when trying to educate their children, they should let things take their course. They could keep an eye on their children, properly lead them to live and study, and should also respect their children’s opinions. No matter what the children’s future, parents should submit to God’s sovereignty and arrangements. Once she had understood God’s will, Yuqing prayed in her heart: “O God! I don’t want to rely on satanic thoughts and notions to ask of my son anymore. His future is controlled by You. I’m willing to entrust his fate to You, and obey Your sovereignty and arrangements.” Acting According to God’s Words Made Mother and Son Both Feel Released Since then, Yuqing no longer forced Xiaojie to do dictations, recite lessons or take extra classes as she used to, but instead, she would respect him and let him study normally. Later, when Yuqing heard her husband talking to Xiaojie about testing into the best high school in the city, she asked Xiaojie whether he wanted to do so. Xiaojie smiled and replied: “No.” Yuqing then said, smiling: “Just do your best, and whatever will be will be.” Yuqing’s husband was very surprised at hearing this and said: “Huh? Didn’t you always ask him to get into the best high school? You’ve changed.” Yuqing calmly replied: “Man’s fate is determined by the heavens, so let nature take its course.” Her son nodded approvingly, saying: “Yeah, that’s right.” When Yuqing put the word of God into practice, Xiaojie began to appropriately arrange his time. He studied when he should and sometimes played basketball for the fun, living very freely. Later, Xiaojie would tell Yuqing what had happened that day at school. Gradually, she discovered that her relationship with her son was growing ever closer and that she lived a relaxed and happy life and didn’t feel as tired as before. She was filled with gratitude to God. She came to appreciate this: After entrusting my son’s education to God, I feel much more at ease. It is God who gives me such a happy life. Thank God!

She enjoyed watching romance series and the interpretation of the romance in marriage given by the characters made her look forward to spending the rest of her life with a tall and handsome husband. However, things backfired on her and the man she married did not have an attractive appearance. The distance between her ideal and the reality caused her marriage to hit the rocks. Then what changed her attitude toward her husband so that she finally had a happy marriage after being married for many years?

By Liu Yang His name is Zhaoyang, born in the 80s. Influenced and infected by the passionate love stories in the TV series, he believed it was the happiness of life that two people in love could live together through thick and thin and hold hands till they grow old. Zhaoyang fantasized: When I get married in the future, I must be like the hero in the affectional TV series, taking good care of the family, caring for and protecting my wife, and building a happy family with her. Due to an Encounter, His Dream Comes True By chance, Zhaoyang met Bing Yan. Although they hadn’t talked much, they had a good impression of each other. Their second meeting was at a friend’s wedding. Bing Yan was the bridesmaid that day. With light makeup, she was particularly beautiful in Zhaoyang’s eyes. At that moment Zhaoyang thought: How wonderful it would be if only Bing Yan and I were the bride and the bridegroom today! If I could marry Bing Yan, my life would be perfect! Afterward, as Zhaoyang persisted in chasing after Bing Yan, they fell in love. But just as they were making wedding plans, they faced opposition from the relatives and family members of Zhaoyang, as well as those who knew them. They said to Zhaoyang, “You two don’t match. Bing Yan is too antisocial and has a bad temper. She does not even get along well with her own parents.” However, Zhaoyang, in disregard of persuasion by his friends and relatives, solemnly said, “I believe our love can stand the test of time. As long as I treat her with my true heart, I believe she will be moved even if she is a piece of ice.” They walked down the aisle to the altar just after having dated three months. After Marriage, His Heart Is Injured The days after marriage were neither as sweet as Zhaoyang had dreamed, nor as beautiful as the promises they had made in the beginning: to love one another and to be tolerant and forgiving! With their peaceful life barely lasting for two months, Bing Yan began to bicker with Zhaoyang over some trivial matters in life. When Zhaoyang occasionally said some words that did not please Bing Yan, she just sulked with him and would not even talk to him for several days, and sometimes she would stay at the net bar all day long without going home. Sometimes when Bing Yan had some trouble with her relatives and friends, she also vented her anger on Zhaoyang, which always made him feel bewildered. Bing Yan would not speak to anyone of the family as long as she got angry. Zhaoyang had to coax her and make compromises every time. One day, when Zhaoyang came home from work, he found Bing Yan wasn’t at home and she didn’t prepare any food for him. And he could not get through to her either. At this moment, Zhaoyang felt very sad in his heart and thought: I wouldn’t blame her even if she did not help me with my work, I couldn’t even see her at home. And her phone was also turned off, I didn’t even know where to find her ... Maybe she would come back later. Then he laid on the couch in the living room waiting for her and fell asleep unconsciously. It wasn’t until almost dawn that Bing Yan dragged her exhausted body back home. Flinging her bag onto the sofa, she walked directly to the bedroom without even giving Zhaoyang a look. Zhaoyang held back his anger with all his strength and asked, “Where did you go? Why didn’t you tell me? You also shut off the phone. I have been waiting for you for the whole night, but you don’t come back until now!” Bing Yan uttered coldly, “I went to an Internet café. I don’t like to be disturbed while playing games!” At this moment Zhaoyang could no longer hold back and said angrily, “Look at yourself! How skinny you are! You have been in poor health, but you still keep staying up so late like this. Don’t you want to have children in the future? Don’t you want to continue our life? From the beginning of our marriage until now, I have been taking care of you with all my heart, while you’ve been always displeased with me. I have no other requirements for you, but only hope we can talk more. Whatever grievances or requirements you have in your heart, you can talk to me. If I did something inappropriate, I will try my best to change.” As soon as Zhaoyang finished his words, Bing Yan shouted loudly, “Stop nagging! It’s none of your business!” She grabbed her phone and threw it to the ground hard as saying this. Zhaoyang was so mad that he blurted out, “You are so short-tempered. I can’t say anything about what you have done, and you even throw your stuff. I can’t live like this. Let’s divorce.” Zhaoyang regretted right after saying this, and he felt this might hurt Bing Yan. But at this time, nothing could be taken back. Bing Yan then packed a few pieces of clothing, and was about to go back to her parents’ house. No matter how Zhaoyang apologized to her, it was all in vain. Bing Yan went back to her parents’ house and lived there for three months. Although Zhaoyang was already busy enough running the store, he went coax and persuade her again and again. Even so, Bing Yan’s indifferent heart could not be awakened. Zhaoyang’s patience and love did not win Bing Yan’s understanding, but on the contrary, she didn’t even say any word with him. In the following days, Bing Yan would turn off her phone and disappear for a few days just because of some trivial matters, and Zhaoyang could not find her anywhere. Every time when Zhaoyang returned home and saw the kitchen was so desolate, he felt this was totally not like a home. Zhaoyang was hurt so deeply, and he wept alone on many occasions during this period of time. He couldn’t figure out: Why did the love and marriage he had been dreaming for turn out to be like this? Why couldn’t so much efforts move her? Thinking of these, Zhaoyang became somewhat regretful and thought: If I followed my family and friends’ persuasion, my life would not be so tragic! Even the idea of “divorce” flashed in his mind, but he calmed down before long, thinking that since he had chosen Bing Yan, he would not give up even if there was a glimmer of hope. With the Marriage Broken, His Dream Is Shattered Such days lasted over one year. In July 2014, Bing Yan ran away from home to work in another city. A few days later, Bing Yan requested a divorce on the phone. Hearing the word “divorce,” Zhaoyang’s heart was completely broken! At this moment, time seemed to stop, and he felt so painful as if he was being pierced by countless arrows. He asked himself in his heart over and over again: How come I ultimately receive such result “divorce” after having treated her with my true heart? Still trying to restore their relationship, he said to her on the phone, “Have you forgotten our vows that we would never forsake each other? Will our marriage really come to an end?” But on the side of the phone, she said, “I’m sorry! I know you are good to me, but we have no common interests or hobbies. I really feel tired of this kind of life. Let’s part peacefully.” Zhaoyang once again tried to go back to her, but Bing Yan actually changed her phone number and QQ account. As such, Zhaoyang completely lost contact with Bingyan. He could not understand: All the way along, he had put so much effort into caring about Bing Yan, but why was she still so heartless? The failure of marriage and the loss of business made Zhaoyang feel extremely painful. He felt that his life seemed to have come to an end, and he was like a boat losing its way in the sea, not knowing where to go from here on. He used to be vibrant, but now he became taciturn and depressed. His relatives and friends also looked at him strangely. He was unable to bear the pain of his heart, so he drank and went to Karaoke to anesthetize himself, thinking that this was the only way to temporarily alleviate the pain in his heart. But his heart got even more painful afterward. How many times he wanted to cry out loud, but there was no place where he felt right; how many times he wanted to find someone to talk with heart to heart, but there was no one who he could talk with. In the dead of night, the past scenes always came to his mind: He had put effort into longing for faithful love all along, but to no avail. In the end, his dream could not come true, but instead he had been tormented heavily because of it. At this time, Zhaoyang was bewildered and at a loss … The Arrival of God’s Love Brings Him Light Deeply in pain and helplessness, Zhaoyang returned home. His parents were so sorry seeing his sad and gaunt face. Then his father found a paragraph of God’s words and read to him, “Your temperament, caliber, appearance, and stature, your family into which you were born, your job, and your marriage—you in your entirety, even including the color of your hair and your skin, and your time of birth—were all arranged by My hands. I arranged by hand even the things you do and the people you meet every single day, not to mention the fact that bringing you into My presence today was actually done by My arrangement. Do not throw yourself into disorder; you should proceed calmly.” And he said with concern to Zhaoyang, “Our whole life, including our birth, caliber, work, marriage, and so on, have been preordained by God long before and no one can escape from His arrangements. Just as the saying goes, ‘Whatever will be, will be.’ Don’t be sad anymore, just let it go! As for how to walk your way in the future, we cannot arrange for you. You cannot control it either. Since you were little, has anything ever happened as you hoped? Let nature take its course.” His father also told Zhaoyang his own rough experience in marriage. Hearing his father’s words, Zhaoyang seemed to have figured out something, then he nodded his head and a long-awaited smile emerged on his face! Zhaoyang thought: This is right. I have put effort into and strived for faithful love, but to no avail. My marriage and fate are really not controlled by myself, neither do I even know how to walk the path in the future, so that I don’t have the strength to struggle on. It’s just like God’s words saying that everything is under the orchestrations of God. Thinking of these, his heart was gradually opened. He turned his head and eagerly looked at the book of God’s words in his father’s hand. His father said with a smile: “Come, you may read a paragraph of God’s words!” Zhaoyang took the book and began to read, “Humanity, having strayed from the Almighty’s provision of life, is ignorant of the purpose of existence, but fears death nonetheless. They are without help or support, yet still reluctant to close their eyes, and they steel themselves to drag out an ignoble existence in this world, sacks of flesh with no sense of their own souls. You live in this way, without hope, as do others, without aim. Only the Holy One of legend will save the people who, moaning in the midst of their suffering, long desperately for His arrival. So far, such belief has not been realized in those who lack consciousness. Nevertheless, the people still yearn for it so. The Almighty has mercy on these people who have suffered deeply; at the same time, He is fed up with these people who lack consciousness, as He has had to wait too long for an answer from humanity. He wishes to seek, to seek your heart and your spirit, to bring you water and food and to awaken you, that you may no longer be thirsty and hungry. When you are weary and when you begin to feel something of the bleak desolation of this world, do not be lost, do not cry. Almighty God, the Watcher, will embrace your arrival at any time. He is keeping watch by your side, waiting for you to turn back around. He is waiting for the day you suddenly recover your memory: when you realize that you came from God, that, at some unknown time you lost your direction, at some unknown time you lost consciousness on the road, and at some unknown time acquired a ‘father’; when you realize, furthermore, that the Almighty has always been keeping watch, waiting there a very, very long time for your return.” The words of God flowed into Zhaoyang’s heart like a warm current and comforted his wounded heart like a loving mother. Zhaoyang cried at that moment. He felt God’s heart is so beautiful and kind! When he was in pain and helpless, God had always been watching over him, waiting for him to turn back. Reading God’s words, Zhaoyang felt that he, like a child who had been lost for many years, suddenly returned to his mother’s embrace. He was so warm and deeply touched. In the following days, Zhaoyang was immersed in the happiness of the church life. Under the guidance of God’s love, he quickly integrated into this big family full of love. By reading God’s words and fellowshiping about the truth with brothers and sisters, his pain and distress in the heart were relieved in the end! Zhaoyang recalled the past: Although his marriage failed and he also suffered a lot, God has brought him before God promptly. He truly felt God’s salvation and compassion for him. He Could Finally See Clearly the Source of Pain Zhaoyang felt a great release in his heart after he understood God’s domination. However, he was still puzzling about why he ultimately received such a painful result after his painstaking efforts for the marriage. That was until several passages of God’s words made Zhaoyang get the answer. God’s words say: “Satan uses this method to invent, fabricate and play out some stories, and it especially deceives these simple-minded, brainless adolescents. Have you been influenced at all? (Yes.) Is it then easy to remove and cleanse yourselves of this poison? Once you have been influenced, these things enter your thoughts and become a kind of poison. You only need to fail to see through this poison and you will then be unable to give it up completely; if you are influenced by it for one day, you will be disturbed and controlled by it for that one day.” “When you repeatedly investigate and carefully dissect the various goals that people pursue in life and their myriad ways of living, you will find not one of them conforms to the Creator’s original intention with which He created humanity. All of them draw people away from the Creator’s sovereignty and care; they are all traps which cause people to become depraved, and which lead them to hell. After you recognize this, your task is to lay aside your old view of life, stay far from various traps, let God take charge of your life and make arrangements for you; it is to try only to submit to God’s orchestrations and guidance, to live without individual choice, and to become a person who worships God.” After reading God’s words, Zhaoyang understood that Satan uses different kinds of TV series to indoctrinate us with views such as “Love is better than ever,” “Life is dear, love is dearer,” “What on earth is love, that makes lovers vow to stick together in life and death?” and “The lovers will finally get married.” These lies are used by Satan to deceive and control our hearts in order that we may regard the beautiful love and marriage as the aim of life to pursue. Moreover, we firmly believe that a beautiful result will be achieved as long as we can make efforts for it sincerely. So then we just rely on our own capabilities to strive for it. However, when he saw the real life differs from his imagination and expectation, he felt a suffering in the heart. Furthermore, when he couldn’t live harmoniously together with the person he like, he was more pained in his heart, which made him feel worse than death. All of these arose from Satan’s affliction. Only then did he know that the marriage is arranged by God and cannot be changed by anyone. Moreover, everyone has their own characters, preferences and perspectives; especially all of mankind have selfish, arrogant and other corrupt dispositions after being corrupted by Satan. Therefore, the other will not do things totally based on his will and he cannot spend for her selflessly. That kind of love with perfection and nobility shown in the TV series doesn’t exist in reality. Zhaoyang understood that only by coming down to earth to accept God’s rule and arrangements, viewing and doing things according to God’s words and properly dealing with all of the people, events and things he encounters, can he shake off these sufferings and Satan’s torment. Guided by God’s Love, He Gained Happiness By chance, Zhaoyang met his present wife Xinyu. She accepted God’ kingdom gospel as well. From their conversation, Zhaoyang knew that Xinyu had experienced a rugged marriage as he did. After getting to know each other for a while, they had understood one another and fell in love, feeling as if they had already found the other half of their life. At this time, Zhaoyang knew that this was God’s rule and arrangement! After that, they got married and have their lovely children. Although their life is not rich, their family are living in happiness and they care about and understand each other. Moreover, they would fellowship about God’s words to address problems they met. What moved Zhaoyang most was that the marriage arranged by God was far better than it chosen by his own will. Bing Yan is grumpy, while Xinyu is dignified and upright, cultured and talented, tender and virtuous. Perhaps this is the difference between a believer in God and an unbeliever. One morning, Zhaoyang saw a passage of God’s words: “One encounters many people in one’s life, but no one knows who will become one’s partner in marriage. Though everyone has their own ideas and personal stances on the subject of marriage, no one can foresee who will truly, finally become their other half, and one’s own ideas on the matter count for little. After meeting someone you like, you can pursue that person; but whether they are interested in you, whether they are able to become your partner—that is not yours to decide. The object of your affections is not necessarily the person with whom you will be able to share your life; and meanwhile, someone you never expected may quietly enter your life and become your partner, the most important element in your fate, your other half, to whom your fate is inextricably bound. … Whether marriage itself brings happiness or pain, everyone’s mission in marriage is predestined by the Creator and will not change; this mission is something that everyone must complete. The fate of each person that lies behind every marriage is unchanging, determined long in advance by the Creator.” At this time, Zhaoyang vividly experienced God’s almightiness and sovereignty and a happy smile emerged on his face. Zhaoyang was grateful for the salvation of God for him from his heart. God has arranged such a marriage for him and made him find a like-minded true partner. They have walked the path of believing in God together. They pray to and worship God, sing hymns to praise God and open up their hearts to fellowship on God’s words. Although sometimes they didn’t get along with each other in their lives, after that they would come before God and examine themselves through reading God’s words, apologize and open their hearts to each other. Currently, Zhaoyang is fulfilling duties at church, which gets the support of his wife. He didn’t expect that the happy marriage he dreamed of would have become reality under the leadership of God. At this time, Zhaoyang bowed his head and thought about his experiences in the past. In order to pursue the so-called faithful and solemn pledge of marriage, he had relied on his own capabilities to strive for it. However, all his pains went for nothing in the end. Although the first marriage brought great harm and suffering to him, through it he understood that people’s fate and marriage are controlled by the hands of God. It was God’s words that made him realize that only by putting aside our personal extravagant demands and desires, obeying God’s orchestration and arrangements, will we obtain the leadership and grace of God, gain God’s mercy and blessings and live in the light. At this time, Zhaoyang comes to deeply understand that the marriage and family arranged for him by God are the best!